Thoughts That Occurred to Me While Watching Game 7 of the ALCS and Eating Thai Takeout
An entry so short and sweet, you'd mistake it for the paltry packet of chili sauce that came with my order
It’s not often you hear the name of the city whose streets you were walking mere minutes ago mentioned on national television, but thanks to who’s taking the rubber for the Mariners in this rubber match against the Blue Jays, that’s precisely what just happened…
RYE, NY is both the hometown of Seattle’s starting pitcher George Kirby and the location of Little Thai Kitchen, where I picked up the dinner that I’m currently demolishing alone in the den of my childhood home in neighboring Harrison.
Kirby graduated from Rye High School, and became just the fourth graduate from Harrison High’s arch rival to reach the Major Leagues when he debuted in 2022, after Eric Junge and local legend B.J. Surhoff and his brother, Rich.
Incidentally, another pair of brothers from Rye made it to the bigs, Colin and Brian Moran — although technically, they are from Port Chester (part of Rye Town) and attended the private high school Iona Prep. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
I spent $60 on a meal for one, $3 tip included. Yes, I tipped on an order for pickup. BECAUSE I’M A BETA CUCK.
What does $60 get you in the New York City suburbs circa 2025? Tao Hoo Tod, Yum Nam Sod, and something I’d never before seen on a menu called “Thai Sesame Chicken.”
Did I order well? NOT PARTICULARLY. The “Thai Sesame Chicken” turned out to be rather large chicken strips, beer battered and fried akin to the fish in ‘fish & chips.’ Let’s just say, what works for chicken of the sea doesn’t translate to chicken of the land. Shit was drier than a menopausal teetotaler leading a tax law seminar in the Sahara!
Seattle and Toronto are two of MLB’s more recent expansion cities, having birthed big league franchises in time for the 1977 season. That’s “recent” according to the temporal scale of baseball history, where ‘one Earth year’ roughly converts to ‘one Steve Trachsel start.’
I wonder who John Olerud is pulling for…
Toronto outfielder Daulton Varsho is the son of a former big leaguer — Gary Varsho — who was named after another former big leaguer — Darren Daulton.
The elder Varsho was also an outfielder who found part-time work with four different clubs over eight seasons in The Show, playing in a total of 571 games — the final 72 of which he spent with Darren Daulton and the 1995 Philadelphia Phillies.
Presuming Gary and Darren did not have a personal relationship before becoming teammates in March of that 1995 season, and knowing that Gary gave birth to his son Daulton in July 1996, that has to be one of the all-time shortest distances ever traveled from “total stranger” to “namesake of first born.”
How did that conversation go with Mrs. Varsho?
“Honey, I know we were thinking of naming our boy after your beloved father of blessed memory, but hear me out… there’s this guy I played with last year who’s suuuper cool. He’s got incredible hair, just an immaculate flow… and when he wears his wraparounds I swear he’s a spitting image of Roddy Piper mowing down those skull-faced alien freaks in They Live. Remember that movie? Anyway, ready for this? He goes by ‘Dutch’… how cool is that!!! Whattya think???
No? Alright, well ‘Dutch’ is his nickname. What about his government name? Darren Varsho! I love it! Rolls right off the tongue!
NO TO DARREN??? C’mon, it’s perfect! OK OK, what if we take Dutch’s last name and make it our son’s first name? It’s not ‘Morandini’ … that’s a different guy.”
Sadly, Darren Daulton passed away prematurely on August 6, 2017 from brain cancer at the age of 55. But thankfully he lived just long enough to see Daulton Varsho get drafted in the 2nd Round of the 2017 MLB Draft by the Arizona Diamondbacks, on June 12.
THE DOPPELGÄNG’S ALL HERE!
Baby, baby, baby oh how Shane Bieber is channeling Dave Stieber…
Eugenio Suárez with the extremely princely Valiant vibes…
and Jorge Polanco is giving Big Riz Ahmed Energy…
By George, with that clutch dinger, Springer has nudged himself into the “Top 5” of baseball’s all-time best Georges, behind Brett, Sisler, Kelly, and Foster. And if he can take the championship hardware home to Toronto, he might even supplant SkyDome legend Bell as the Jays’ most iconic George.
Between Kirby and Springer, it’s been a GEORGY ORGY at the Rogers Centre!
What a series! Tough loss for Seattle who shall remain the lone MLB franchise yet to taste a Fall Classic Spiced Latte… but I’m very happy for my many friends in the T dot who are surely running through The Six without any woes tonight — other than the economic uncertainties posed by escalating U.S. trade tensions, rising domestic inflation, and the weakening of the Canadian dollar!!!