005 - Strip Tees No. 1: "Year of the Patriot"
A tee even the most intense Tom Brady hater can love
Strip Tees is a recurring series in which I write
about t-shirts I like
A general rule in the NFL states that if you have fewer wins than the New York Jets, you’re in trouble. That’s precisely where the New England Patriots find themselves as they approach the tail end of the 2024 campaign, their dismal 3 - 11 record a touch more pathetic than the Jetropolitans’ 4 - 10… once bitter conference rivals now awkward roommates in the basement of the AFC East.
Suffice it to say, the Pats won’t be contending for their seventh Super Bowl Championship and the sole distinction of all-time winningest NFL franchise — a boast currently shared with the Pittsburgh Steelers, who are making a surprising bid this season at breaking the tie).
And to that I say, BOO FREAKING HOO. Patriots Nation has had it too good for too long — for practically the totality of the 21st Century (all six of those rings were fitted between 2002 and 2019!). But alas, Fortune’s Wheel has turned for the Foxboro Faithful. Brady and Beli have departed the ancestral lands of The Departed, the seven (20?) years of feast have given way to what could be seven (20?) years of famine, what was a time to build up is now a time to break down, to sit with the suffering, to connect with the humility, to commiserate with Jets Nation and embrace what it feels like to hilariously suck.
It’s also a time relish those glories of the recent past. And this is where I can help.
As related in my previous post, I have been collecting and celebrating vintage sports gear for more than half my life. I believe there exists no better anti-aging technique than throwing on the garb of your youth (in your now Adult Size) and relishing in the revisiting of childhood fandom for treasured teams and mythic sports heroes rivaled in cultish fervor perhaps only by Jonestown’s dedicated denizens.
If you’re a New England Patriots fan of a certain age in 2024, you must remember that 2001 squad and the series of unfortunate September events that shook the world (and the team’s depth chart)…
YOU DON’T?? THEY SAID ‘NEVER FORGET’!!!!
Ok, I’ll remind you.
The year prior, Bill Belichick had been hired away from the Jets to become the 14th head coach in company history, just in time to snag an unheralded Michigan quarterback with the 199th pick of the draft named Tom Brady. (#FORESHADOW)
The Pats already had a premier, Pro Bowl QB at the helm in Drew Bledsoe — appointed face of the franchise following his first overall selection in ‘93 — who opened the 2001 season as the highest-paid player in NFL history thanks to a freshly inked 10-year, $103 million extension.
Nevertheless, the run-of-the-mill roster wasn’t expected to improve much on the 5 wins and 11 losses they compiled to kick off the millennium. Week 1 of 2001 ended in an admirable but losing effort, falling one touchdown short to Cincinnati (23-17). Week 2’s match was set for September 16th at Carolina, but the entire league took a rain check in the wake of what happened that Tuesday: 9/11, baby!
As fate would have it, the first NFL teams to return to action following the attacks were the Patriots and Jets, and on September 23rd, all eyes were fixed on Foxboro as Bledsoe and Co. helped restore a sense of normalcy to a healing nation. But it would be Bledsoe in need of healing after Jets linebacker Mo Lewis laid a vicious sideline smackdown on the scrambling QB in the waning moments of the 4th quarter, causing a concussion and a hemothorax* that almost killed the 29 year-old.
Enter: Tom Brady. He finished out the final 3 minutes of that 10-3 loss, but took the reins in Week 3 and never gave them back. The Pats went 11-3 with Tom leading the rest of the way, and they continued to outperform and overdeliver in the playoffs as they marched through the snow and past the Raiders, then the Steelers, and ultimately the Rams to win their first Big Game. It was a most unexpected turn of events, against a most unimaginably tragic backdrop, in an atmosphere ungraciously thick with allegiance to the flag. The Year of the Patriot, indeed.
What thrills me most about this particular shirt is what’s missing. Don’t get me wrong, my collection is brimming with Brady “rookie tees” manufactured in the aftermath of Super Bowl XXXVI (unlike an uber-hyped player of Bledsoe’s caliber, sixth-rounders don’t get their own shirt until given a good reason)… but the fact that he’s not among the quintet featured on this piece makes it a) unique and b) digestible for Brady haters. I would guesstimate there have been thousands of Tom tees designed and sold in the decades since his breakout from Back-Up to Boy Wonder to Best Ever, but this has to be one of the only torso tarps ever made in honor of Willie McGinest, Lawyer Milloy, Adam Vinatieri, Ty Law, OR Richard Seymour — and without a scintilla of doubt, the ONLY ONE starring all five.
This shirt eats on THE FIRM alone, but add another Pro Football Hall of Famer (joining Law) with Seymour and a soon-to-be third with all-time points leader Vinatieri — plus Patriots Hall of Famer and USC All-American McGinest — and you’re looking at the ULTIMATE SLAY among the annals of NFL player tees. If you are incapable of comprehending the sheer majesty of this sublime concoction of athletic personnel on a single garment, well, maybe Quiz Daddy’s isn’t for you.
But if this expertly composited graphic immediately conjures flash memories of Adam tying and winning the Snow Bowl, or Lawyer picking off Kordell to seal the AFC title, or Willie and Richard wrapping up and throwing down Brett, Peyton, Kurt, Kerry, and Donovan, or Ty going airborne on his Upper Deck rookie card, then step right this way and allow this tee to make your day…
In this current air of Pats fan despair, it’ll make your entire year.
*not a Dr. Seuss character… nor something you’d want for Christmas.